Ignu Reads

The Narrator is a ridiculous man, he is mad and utterly indifferent to everything and everyone. The narrator is a man who lost hope and direction in life, in fact he never had any hope or direction for since he was seven he was fully aware of his superfluous existence, and the conviction grew inside of him as he grew up until he could confront it, embrace its intensity and the freedom it came with, no one took him seriously, not even himself, he believed he was boring and everything he did stemmed not out of purpose, but from the lack of it. For instance he would knock passerby ‘s shoulders not because he didn’t notice them in particular, but because he stopped noticing people in general, for him nothing existed, and he had the permission to knock people’s shoulders simply because nothing matters.

On one night our adrift narrator on his way home, it was the gloomiest night possible, it was cold and damp after rainfall, he saw a star that stirred an idea in him, that he ought to shoot himself, he had a splendid revolved in his drawer, loaded for two months earlier, he had been waiting to be on the right state of mind to become zero, nothingness and be at peace at last, but one incident followed and it changed his life.

A little girl of about eight or nine took him by the elbow and begged for help for something awful happened to her mother, she cried out of despair, but he pushed her away with utter indifference and continued his way, and when he  reached his room at last, he sat up in the old comfortable armchair where he sits until daybreak every night for a year, he sat there and put the revolved on the table, then he was overwhelmed by, first the realization that this is it and he is one shoot away from nothingness, and second he questioned why he suffered at not helping the girl, he felt guilty and inhumane for not helping her. He concluded that :
 

As long as I was still a human being not nothingness, I was alive and so could suffer, be angry, and feel shame at my actions

A reflection came rushing in his mind, while million others escaped his consciousness until he fell asleep.  The dream he has is what will change his life forever, will reveal the truth to him bare. Afterwards  when he told people of his dream they teased him saying it was just a dream, but for him yes indeed it was, just a dream, yet it revealed to him a different life, renewed life, grand and full of power, for their reality, their life the are so proud to have, he wanted to extinguish.

In his dream he had killed himself, and was buried in a cold damp grave as he had imagined, but the only thing that he didn’t expect is a life beyond the grave, he expected nonexistence and eternal peace, but as soon as he was buried he was transported through time and space by an alien being, human like being, to the star he saw on his way home, on that star he wrote :
 

 It was the earth untarnished by the fall; on it lived people who had not sinned. They lived just in such a paradise as that in which, according to all legends of mankind, our first parents lived before they sinned; the only difference was that all this earth was the same paradise

The world he dreamed of, and the world he lived in were two different. The first was pure, innocent, untamed, and authentic, people lived in solidarity and harmony with nature, and with each others, they were a big happy family, they didn’t wait for science to know how to live, not did they worship any religion, they worshiped the unconditional love they had, they didn’t have jealousy, nor did they know the meaning the word conveyed. In the second world, wrath prevailed, jealousy and hatred, people found meaning in suffering and in their individuality, people draw limits, created illusion, and most importantly suffered for what the purity they had lost.

Dostoevsky suggest that the only living creatures in a sinful meaningless world that resembled the creatures he saw his dream are children, children are pure and innocent, authentic, but the more we grow we lose our virginal innocence for the things we attach to meaningfulness, for example religions or cultures, and slavery.

Dostoevsky, although lived in the 19th century, foresaw the events of the century that followed, he knew that the pace humans were taking to reach perfection could only lead to destruction, wrath, and inequality.


Here is an excerpt that for me sums up not only this short story, but life in general, the evolution of human sensuality.

Before his first day at school, scared Charlie decides to reach out through letters to an anonymous “Friend”, he feels the receiver will understand what he is going through. Charlie is an observer, he is distant, and closed on himself to the degree that he couldn’t share how he felt about his only close friend’s recent suicide. High school is hard, specialty if you’re going through it alone, so that’s one way to see how necessary for Charlie to have someone to talk to, to get things out of his mind about teachers, about his parents weird behavior, and his wanna be an adult sister, as well as his successful college football player brother.




“I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with

people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.

I think you of all people would understand that because I think you of all people are alive and

appreciate what that means. At least I hope you do because other people look to you for strength

and friendship and it’s that simple. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to

figure out how that could be.”




So basically Charlie starts high school on a very bad note, his favorite person, his aunt Helen, as he described her is dead, and his best friend committed suicide because of problems at home, in other words adults selfish unfathomable behavior, so this “Friend” is the only alive person who he can trust. Charlie’s letters are honest, unfiltered, and melancholic, the whole concept of letters is intimate, you get the feeling that you’re a voyeur reading someone else’s secret thoughts, or diary.




Charlie throughout the book goes through different experiences and difficulties. Charlie has to confront death, and bullying, as well as a past sexual molestation, and he also has to figure out who he is, and about his own sexuality since he used to kiss boys when he was a kid and he even kissed Patrick not just once. he learns how to masturbate, how to get high, how to keep a secret, and how to say goodbye to those he loved.




While reading The Perks Of Being A Wallflower I laughed, I remembered my own experience both in college and high school trying to fit, and finding who I am, just like Charlie all of us get lost between running away from everything or putting all our energy to participate. Adolescence is a sensitive period of our lives, if we stuck in the wrong addictive habits, we might carry those habits for the rest of our lives, if we keep beating ourselves, or underestimating ourselves , it will be harder to adapt to people treating you good, you might take the wrong decision and block your potential from unfolding, and you might as well end up developing Impostor Syndrome. Remember “we accept the love we think we deserve”, so always keep reaching for new lights to see yourself.




One of the things I really loved about the book is how I rather of hating some characters, I felt sympathy and sorry for them. Chbosky gives us a glimpse of the world of young adults in the 90s, and how lost can they get trying to mimic adults, or trying to escape the difficulty of such period.





My favorite characters are basically Mary Elizabeth (Which is weird), and the teacher Bill. I can totally see their storylines rewritten for how much they are so independent as characters. For me Mary Elizabeth represents the Third Wave Punk feminist, but Chbosky was brilliant in writing her character, she is smart, opinionated, upfront about others, and one of the strongest female characters in Postmodern literature, although a lot of people might disagree (Specially those who only watched the movie), but Mary Elizabeth is a good friend to Sam, she was a good girlfriend to Charlie, it wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t get himself to talk back, she is half as obnoxious as recent YA overwritten female characters who are supposed to represent strong women. In Addition, Sam, Charlie’s sister, Susan, and Charlie’s brother’s girlfriend are also strong female characters who are independent in facing past and present issues like Sam’s sexual abuse past, Charlie’s Sister’s abortion, and violent boyfriend, or Susan who represents the pressure put on female to look beautiful to get accepted, in a way Susan is one of the ignored characters in the book who leave an impact deep down on our hearts, she is just trying as hard as everyone else to find who she is, and be accepted although if that meant pretending, which can be very alienating, in other words, those famous kids, or bullies are also trying to fit in, to be accepted, to leave an impression on people even if it was bad, to be noticed, and most of all to feel important. so from a feminist perspective, Chbosky got an A writing female characters.




My second favorite character is Bill, the cool hipster teacher, who was so necessary to the evolution of the main character Charlie, his mentoring through the honest conversations with Charlie, as well as giving Charlie different books on different essential themes such as sexuality, drug, and the inevitability of adulthood. Bill kind of reminds me of Holden Caulfield, of them grew up in the same era also known as the lost generation where it was even harder to fit in, or gracefully grow up, therefor he keeps helping Charlie, as well as the audience, all you need to do it read the book references.




Another thing that Chbosky got a straight A for is the gay characters he introduced to us in the novel, as well as giving us glimpses of how it was for gay people through the grandfather who avoids hugging males in general, even Charlie described it as odd and challenging to hug his own grandfather fearing he might not get a chance to say good-bye, and the father who was so relieved to know Charlie has a girlfriend that he gives him both a sex lesson, and a condom to practice it; Charlie belong to the 90s generation which is more tolerant towards LGBT rights, so Chbosky is sort of showing us the evolution of the American society throughout the twentieth century, he even refers to Harvey Milk. Patrick and Brad are both gay in the book, Although Patrick is quite/very open about his sexuality, Brad is very afraid of his sexuality being exposed.




The Perks Of Being A Wallflower is a perfect book to understand the shift from the lost generation, to a more lost and virtual generation. In the book, we see the rise of new mediums of communicating one’s thoughts and feelings, like mixtapes, nowadays it’s more developed so it’s a harder experience for young adults to find a “friend” who would understand them then Holden Caulfield, or Charlie. Yet, the issues the book deals with are still relevant, and even more relevant than before, the scale of drug use, suicide, depression, and alienation young adults deal with is still overwhelming.




Stephen Chbosky made The Perks Of Being A Wallflower such a remarkable work of fiction through his realist, not exaggerated style, and his tangible characters who make us contemplate our own lives, and future.




If you ever feel depressed, lonely, or misunderstood just reach out for a friend like Charlie did.




Finally, your suggestions, comments, and criticism are highly welcomed!